Don’t ignore the elephants in the roomJanuary 22, 2022 2022-01-22 6:16
Don’t ignore the elephants in the room
Don’t ignore the elephants in the room
“We don’t live in a shared reality, we each live in a reality of our own, and causing upset is often the price of trying to reach each other. It’s always easier to dismiss other people than to go through the awkward and time-consuming process of understanding them. We have given taking offense a social status it doesn’t deserve: it’s not much more than a way of avoiding difficult conversations.”
— Frankie Boyle —
Imagine these scenarios.
Trying to sort out differences with your partner.
Trying to tell your boss that you already have enough work when he trusts you with more.
Trying to tell a colleague that he messed up the project.
Trying to lay off an employee.
Trying to ask for a leave from the employer even though it is the first one.
Haven’t we all been in such difficult situations?
Sometimes difficulty lies in the awkwardness rather than the actual situation. We are always worried that we may offend someone by being utterly reasonable because no matter how rational our argument, it might piss someone. And that is where developing the art to handle such difficult conversations comes into play.
- Clean & clear works everywhere, not just as a face wash.
Beating around the bush frustrates everyone. Even if you are amidst a difficult conversation, make sure you are very clear and specific in what you are saying. It makes the other person respect you and helps him understand what you are trying to communicate without any misunderstandings.
- Slow and steady wins the race.
Everyone knows that we want to get over the difficult conversations as soon as possible. Despite that, take it slow. When you take time to breathe and slow down, you give yourself and the other person a chance to think things through clearly, rather than rushing through and missing out on the emotions. Take the conversation smoothly and slowly so that there are replies and not reactions!
- You belong to the same team.
Even though it seems as if the people involved belong to two opposite teams during the conversation, make sure you are empathetic and try to find common ground. Let the other person ask questions and be open and accepting of his perspective. This takes the heat away from you as an individual. Reframe your questions like “Do you think it is possible to approach the problem in this way?” rather than saying, “The way you are approaching the problem isn’t right.”
- Give up the need to be right! You aren’t someone’s wife (pun intended)!
This is one of the most important things to keep in mind. Often people make simple conversation difficult by needing to be correct. They feel they are entitled to have their way and spend the time conversing in making sure they prove their point rather than trying to understand the situation.
Conversations are labeled as complex in mind. Be an optimist and tell your brain that it is not a difficult conversation rather just a conversation with possibly different viewpoints.
Realize the purpose of your conversation. It often acts as an anchor and keeps the conversation rooted in the present. Make sure that you are collaborating with the other person in finding the solution rather than dictating.
Any company is a sum total of healthy relationships it nurtures. The better relationships colleagues have in the workplace, the healthier the environment for work. It further increases your efficiency and mood, which finally affects the kind of life you are living.
“Conversations are like dances. Two people effortlessly move in step with one another, usually anticipating the other person’s next move. If one of the dancers moves in an unexpected direction, the other typically adapts and builds on the new approach. As with dancing, it is often difficult to tell who is leading and who is following in that the two people are constantly affecting each other. And once the dance begins, it is almost impossible for one person to singly dictate the couple’s movement.”
— James W. Pennebaker
● How to Have Difficult Conversations When You Don’t Like Conflict by Joe Garfinkle
● 3 steps to having difficult — but necessary — conversations: Daryl Chen
● We Have to Talk: A Step-By-Step Checklist for Difficult Conversations by Judy Ringer: Psyche
● How to have a difficult conversation by Adar Cohen: Ted Talk
Plagiarism : 0%